Friday, November 6, 2009

Honey, I Spank the Kid

“Baap ki Maar Se To Haddiya Mazbut Hoti Ha”. Everyone must be aware of it. Is it true what can I say lets see.

Fathers are leaders of our houses. They are bankers, strict, physical, regulator & conductor of our househod symphony. Here I love to highlight the strict part. Well I love to start it with a movie quote from “Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge” where Kajol , her sister & mother were dancing & having fun but as the father Amrish Puri enters music changes, books on & pin drop silence. It indicates respect.

What make me play key board on this topic is a recent book by Barack Obama brother “Mark Obama Ndesandjo”, in which he talks about his abusive father. He also says “he’s a brilliant man but a social failure”. Michael Jackson too had such complaints with his strict father.

Beating, throwing chappals, locked in a toilet is in everybody’s childhood memory. And I am not an exception to it too. Ofcourse after that a fine treatment does ratifies it but for that moment.
My father slapped in front of my friends when I don’t do the study which he yelled me to do before he comes from office. Did this spank ensures that I will do every thing on time from next day. Obviously not I start the alternative way I decided to ignore him & let him do what he want to. Just following Gandhigiri If someone hits you on left then you move your right to him. All I want to say I moved away which he want to teach me that is to study and remember only one thing that this person want to hit me.

We normally makes fun of such things that in developed world you cannot beat your ward. But here you can use your kids as talcom powder. In advanced world they have strict laws. But here it still a miles ahead. As often we read in papers regarding beating in school. But who notices the household spanking.

Why is it so? Is it in our culture? Who started it? Is it right from the age of Ramayana?
May be we see Yashoda Mayya tieing Krishna when he steal butter.
We Indians try to give religious support to each of our daily affairs. Like who started kidnapping is it Ravan, rape Dushasan, leaving your pregnant wife Shri Ram. But who started beating a kid I never heard Yudhishtra mum beating him because he failed to spot “Chidiya Ki Aankh”.

Parents beat up their children only out of their inability to do anything else.

Everyone knows
• Spanking perpetuates violence in children
• Spanking teaches children to use aggression as a means to achieve their ends
• Children who have been spanked are more prone to low self-esteem, depression and acceptance of low-paying jobs
Parents should find an alternative way of teaching good lessons to kids, a calm & cool way.

My friend Roselle just make me move towards a Bible Verse that “Jesus hate the sin & not the sinner”. Thanks a lot bebe. Now I say proudly that “I love my Father”.

Lets Pledge that when we have kids we will never beat them.


Shefali said...

yups that ur gud deeds :)

Shefali said...

brother again i was unable to post my comments plz do it honey dont spank the kids.

To be honest i remember a very funny incidence we use to live in joint family with our grand father and at that time old houses were joint so there waz this very small wall between my house and my friends house and oftenly i used to jump the wall to play at my friends terrace. That Day my dad asked me not to go to the friends terrace and play since they have dogs, but i did not abide by his descision as the dogs were known to me neeeru and bindu i used to daily serve two buiscuits to them, now we all friends decided to play pakan padai i hope u know this came where one has to catch the other person now the target was me i was running for to save my self but....suddenly my leg hit bindus a dog bite, my brother immediately notice it and started shouting shiphali has bitten the dog, hearing this my father turned in a fit of rage and i immediately crossed and reached my terrace, Dad turned up and slapped me 5 times on the face was feeling like the earth is rotating around the sun, after when it stopped i asked whose mistake was it mine or dogs after all that dude had bitten me. Then my dad realized he had thrown his frustation on me so everytime he use to take me for injection he used to give me 5-star chocolate which i enjoyed a lot. My dad was very posessive for me since i was the youngest child in the entire family and the most pampered one he used to make sure he drop me and pick up from the bustop, some times even cooked food when moms was in the office. He is such a dorable person whom i loved the most as i was dads daughter. I would like to share another incidence i took a purse to office ussually it was a bag, then one day its handle broke off, next day in the morning i found my dad sitting on the dinner table and stitching it seeing this i had tears in my eyes that how could be too good for me, and next week i again breaked it. Aint this so sweet of him. Theres lot to share but ultimately from but ultimately from the incidences explained above i come to a conclusion that thrashing or spanking a child is not at all good theres always a better way to tell them where they are wrong. A dad is supposed to be a friend of yours whoom you should lookup and seek advices, what is wrong what is right. They are our ideals and the way they behave with anybody whether child or the wife ultimately effects the child psychology and this is where parenting comes into picture. A child is like a bud it has to blossom like a flower and all this is an outcome of good parenting. So please For all the dads reading my comment please try and understand that u r not supposed to spank a child or scold a child as it affects their psychology. It creates fear, dependency, low self esteem in children. If your are frustated or angry please through it out on pillow or learn anger management.At the same time i would request all the parents not to keep any high expectations from your child every cild is special and unique. Some are g Some are good in studies, some are good in dance or painting so please identify the tallent of the child and praise him for that may be that passion later on becomes their future. So feel proud on them. See i wouldn't say that my parents were perfectionist they also did mistakes which today have resulted into my weakness say for intance over possesiveness let me to too much dependecy.But yes in times of troubles they were the best to me than anyone else because they really cared for me. I thank god good or bad whatever mixture they were they were the worlds best parents to me and i have high respect for them. So i request u all parents dont throw ur frustations , ur expectation on ur child rather praise them for what they have.They are like caterpillars and you have to let them free to blossom into their own colourful butterflies. sorrry brother my emotions poured out like hell for this topic so i thinked i have filled ur scarpbook :(